Years ago, I met a soccer coach who was an exceptional man with a big heart. At the time, he lived in a rundown apartment, in a neighborhood where anybody might feel dejected. Despite his humble homelife, he was a top-notch authority on coaching kids on and off the field, and he was a perennial giver. I remember he bought a young boy whose mother was on welfare a new pair of cleats. That’s just who he was.
This coach embodied a mix of compassion and pride every single day. While it’s been a while since I last saw this gentleman, I know he no longer lives in a terrible apartment on the wrong side of town. Once the world got wind of his altruistic nature, all sorts of doors opened for him.
Give with authenticity
To this day, I take cues from this wise man when it comes to serving others, and I encourage my clients to follow suit in their businesses—give with authenticity rather than with expectation. Do nice things for other people for no other reason other than it feels good. I can’t scientifically explain what happens, but I know from years of experience that the results are beneficial for everyone.
Some may consider this karma. I refer to it as esprit de corps. If you’re not familiar with the term, Merriam-Webster defines it as “a feeling of pride, fellowship, and loyalty shared by members of a group.” Whatever you call it, just know that you want it in your organization and that it starts with you.
I’ve spoken for years about cultivating an abundance mindset. Live generously, and you’ll see how generous life can be toward you in return. Act from the standpoint of scarcity, and you’ll witness opportunities drying up as the entire will of your organization withers in accordance with your own cynicism.
How to blend generosity and profit
I can’t stress enough that goodwill outperforms cutthroat conduct in every business imaginable. How exactly does one display generosity when trying to be profitable in the highly competitive dental sphere? I’m not suggesting that you let patients off the hook for unpaid bills. Nobody should have to work for free, including dentists. Although, if you notice a patient struggling to pay, your willingness to work with them on a payment plan might be a good starting point.
In general, though, to truly promote esprit de corps, you must put the well-being of your employees and patients front and center. People must matter most. Care for your employees so that your employees care for your patients, and then watch the world’s grace come full circle on your behalf. Interfere with that cycle in any way, and you’ll compromise the results.
On paper, the benefits of being a giver make sense. But there’s always pushback from the skeptics, and I don’t blame them. Once someone takes advantage of your kindness, you learn to avoid getting stepped on again. There are three kinds of people: givers, takers, and matchers. These archetypes illustrate people who give without expectation, who take without limitation, and who insist on reciprocity.
Thankfully, I rarely meet a dentist who falls in the second category; most are in the matching group. They give frequently, but with stipulations to guard their self-interest. I get it. When pesky takers stymie your interests, you want to cut them off. But should you? It depends on your temperament.
I’m upbeat, and people often comment on my high energy. I entered my 60es not too long ago, and I feel like I’ve always felt—eager about life and who I get to serve next. My stamina isn’t a persona. I’m the same way at home as I am with my clients and colleagues. Most days, it seems I have an infinite energy supply and therefore an endless willingness to help in any way I can.
My secret? I tend to my basic needs of adequate sleep and proper nutrition, and I mind my mental health. Doing so allows me to give freely without needing anything in return. I don’t fundamentally require anything from the people I help because I’ve fulfilled my needs. I interact with people for the fun of it, for the camaraderie, the collaboration, and the satisfaction of a job well done. That’s it.
What about the takers? Do they lurk in the shadows awaiting someone like me? Maybe, yet I hardly ever run into them. The people in my circle are those with energy like mine. We play perfectly with one another, and others like us join in the fun. It’s an ongoing process, thus our circle keeps growing. We’ve got the takers outnumbered. They feel uncomfortable around us.
Take these ideas to heart
In a nutshell, this is the secret to giving unabashedly. Remember that others can tell if you’re giving with strings attached. Serve with expectation, and you’ll be in a state of constant disappointment from others’ unwillingness to reciprocate. Instead, learn to honor yourself first. When you start your day, make sure that you’re nourished, well-rested, and in a good mood.
Then let your bliss carry you smoothly throughout your day as you go from helping one person to the next. It’s how servers make stellar tips, how salespeople make phenomenal sales, and how dentists grow thriving practices. Ask, “What can I do for you?” In due time, others will ask you the same. Since you’re already happy, every new blessing that comes your way will simply be a bonus.
Editor's note: This article appeared in the April 2025 print edition of Dental Economics magazine. Dentists in North America are eligible for a complimentary print subscription. Sign up here.
